Barnett Shale Wonderland

The Star-Telegram had a contest to rewrite winter wonderland. Dang! I didn’t know.

Here’s one of the winning entries:

Barnett Shale Wonderland, to the tune of Winter Wonderland

Money talks, It’s so thrillin’
Watch your toes — we’re a-drillin’
With hardly a fight, and no oversight
We’re pumpin’ out the gas beneath your land.

Safety talk is distractin’
So we just keep on fractin’
If you see a flame, we’ll just shift the blame
We’re pumpin’ out the gas beneath your land.

You’re lucky that an oilman is your may-or
Permits can be granted with such ease.
We don’t care about any nay-sayer.
We won’t stop until your town’s Swiss cheese.

Pretty soon, we’ll come callin’
Down your street, we’ll be haulin’
Your water away, Oh well what the hey
There’s money in the gas beneath your land.

On your hiking trail we’ll build a well site.
Sorry but the council said we could.
When we’re done it’ll be a swell site.
We’ll chop your trees and you can have the wood.

If it blows, don’t come cryin’
Here’s a lease – now just sign.
We promise to pay, when we can’t say,
There’s money in the gas beneath your land.

— Dan Stachura, Fort Worth